Like the geek in the pink

Wednesday, May 06, 2009

I am proud of us. and the silver we attained.

Am angsty, because it isn't fair to judge our music and neither is it the other way round. It is subjective. Perhaps it was our lack of experience to sing as only a level and the strength to sustain throughout the 15 minutes but it was probably not within our age and physique to do it to the best it can be. We're not of professional standards, but we have definitely done our best. Maybe not in all rehearsals, but we have learnt- and grown.

Never mind tho, because those who will understand, understands. Those who don't will just stay ignorant to what music is and what music does.

Yet take the criticisms in readily and take whatever lessons learnt this time round. It was a heart warming experience. The whole process. I think the most that everyone got from this was to never forget the music and joy that dwells wherever and whenever we sing.

It's a life lesson.

Cantemus, quia cantare bonum est,
Cantemus, quia cantare iucundum est,
Cantemus, quia cantare amantis est.

Just sing, because song is a very good thing,
Just sing, because song is a very happy thing,
Just sing, because song is in your heart.

by some arabian girl :)
20:16

Friday, May 01, 2009

It's as though I'm talking to her, and that she's reading this space. nevermind.

Ms Tham, I need you to know that I haven't been the sole one affecting the choir and I alone cannot do it. But yes I know everything else to be said on the reverse side.

-

There is no point. I just need her to know that just because I'm keeping mum about choir problems and saving them for myself, I don't have to be strong enough to handle. I am glad and immensely happy for all that she talked to me about and for the simple touch on my back that lasted for seconds, even though it seemed like I stepped into infinity, that it stopped me from thinking- too much. She could have been my comfort but she doesn't necessarily understand how I was feeling. I won't have her just liking me just because I'm me. I hope she understands and forgive me for my weakness not because she forgets, but because she knows I'll be better.

I was just rethinking about what she said. I don't like being misunderstood. But I guess I can only put it into actions and show her. Afterall that's my principle of apology: actions.

I guess last night was a success for us. It marks a wonderful beginning for us, for me. I feel like I can hold the world in my hands again. It wasn't SYF, but in this process I've learnt to forget, and remember what it means to sing. It means much more to me. For someone who have never looked upon singing as competition, I've morphed into someone I don't recognise at all. I've taken up singing as a burden- to motivate and help everyone else, till I forget that I have myself to pull along, too. It's been going on since last year and finally this snowballing has taken effect.

I am thankful for this roller-coasting experience, or I'd never have the chance to grow. Now I know how it feels to be stripped of music and joy, and when it comes back, it floods me incessantly. I am thankful for IP that puts me under the same choir, similar environment, and show me that I've taken my position too strongly. Responsibility is mine and it stops there where I've done my best for everyone else. It's high time I do my best for myself and for the music I am about to make, and ms tham. My conductor. The best Mother to RVChoristers.

+do not talk to me about this. I am weary. I will not talk about this until my momentum fully stablises.

Labels: fledge

by some arabian girl :)
20:40

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